Who Pays for What?

The most popular question that arises while planning a wedding is “Who Pays for What?” 

Here are the traditional payment arrangements:

Bride: Groom’s wedding ring, Groom’s wedding gift, Bridal attendants’ gifts, Personal stationary, Medical exam and blood test (if required), Accommodations for out of town attendants.

Groom:  Bride’s rings (engagement and wedding), Bride’s wedding gift, Gifts for the best man and ushers, Bride’s bouquet, Mother’s Corsages, Boutonniere’s for attendants and fathers, Medical exam and blood test (if required), Marriage License, Officiant’s fee, Honeymoon, Accommodations for out of town attendants.

Bride’s Family:  Ceremony Costs – location, music, rentals, etc./Reception costs – food, beverages, music, rentals, decorations, cake/Bride’s wedding attire and accessories, Wedding invitations and postage, Bridesmaids’ bouquets, Transportation for the bridal party,  Bridesmaid luncheon, Photography, Floral decorations.

Grooms Family:  Rehearsal dinner, Wedding night Suite.

The good news?  Today there is no set standard as to who pays for what.  There are many ways to divide wedding costs to give you the wedding of your dreams.  Here are a few different ways to divide expenses.

Bride and groom pay for the entire wedding – Many couples, especially older couples, decide to pay for their wedding themselves.  Some second marriages also pay for their weddings.

Expenses are shared by all – Another alternative for older, more established couples is to split the entire cost of the wedding (all elements listed in previous sections) into thirds – the bride and groom pay one-third, her family pays a third and his family pays the final third.  This arrangement may work well if the families share similar income levels and expectations for the wedding.

Expenses are split between the bride and groom’s families – In this arrangement, expenses that are traditionally paid by either family are pooled and then split evenly between the two families.  The bride and groom still pay their own expenses (as listed previously).

Each family pays for their own guests – This arrangement helps minimized awkward feelings about the guest list.  Sometimes one family has a much larger group of friends and family members that they wish to invite, while the other family may want to keep the guest list small to minimize costs.  In this case, the families might add together all of the expenses for the ceremony and reception and divide it by the expected number of guests.  Each family (and the bride and groom) then pays that per-guest cost for each person they wish to include.

Bride or Groom’s family pays for the entire wedding – This may occur if there is a large disparity in income between the two families.